As a queer person I see Christians in the media constantly opposing my right to get married, have a child, and live in peace – or in extreme cases, my right to live at all. I also see them saying women don’t have the right to birth control, abortion or to refuse their husbands sex. The church is dedicated to persecuting queers and women.

There is, however, a bizarre tendency among some non-religious people to become apologists for Christianity. This happens in a few different ways; 1) embrace the handful of Christians who don’t preach hatred of queers and women as if they are somehow amazing for not wanting us all to burn in hell, 2) when a Christian preaches hatred of queers and women saying “that’s not very Christian”, ignoring the fact that it’s what the majority of Christians believe and 3) saying that regardless of the behaviour of Christians Jesus was actually a nice bloke, even though in reality he was a twat.

Christians protesting against computer games, probably because they can't work out how to use the controller.

Christians protesting against computer games, probably because they can’t work out how to use the controller.

Let’s address these one by one. Firstly, how should we regard the few liberal Christians who don’t hate queers?

Ignore them. So what, you don’t think I’m going to hell? Well you’re just like the majority of non-religious people then. Congratulations, do you want a fucking cookie? It’s fucking ridiculous to bend over backwards to embrace religious allies. Your religion is dedicated to ruining my life – just because you claim to ignore the parts of the Bible that say I’m going to hell and should be stoned to death, I’m not going to get down on my knees and fellate you.

Secondly, describing Christians preaching that homosexuality is a sin, or that abortion should be illegal, as “not very Christian” is just bollocks. What do you mean, “not very Christian”? Of course it’s fucking Christian to preach what Christianity says – and Christianity says queers go to hell. Sorry, but it’s true. “Christian” isn’t a euphemism for “nice” – if anything, history has repeatedly demonstrated that it’s the opposite.

I hate to break this to you, but you're actually kneeling down.

I hate to break this to you, but you’re actually kneeling down.

Christianity teaches children lies, it deliberately terrifies them into believing nonsense. It preys on the vulnerable, exploits people’s fears and need to cling to something to make the world more bearable.  At a basic level Christianity teaches people to accept their lot in life, to stay poor, to put up with being shat on by the rich because “there’ll be pie in the sky when you die” – well newsflash, THERE FUCKING WON’T BE. Ever heard that song “All Things Bright and Beautiful”? Harmless right? Bollocks is it. The third verse (usually cut out now, but we sang it at my old church) goes like this; “The rich man in his castle, the poor man at his gate, God made them high and lowly, and ordered their estate.” See my point?

So when a Christian preaches that queers go to hell, or that women are subservient to men, or that poor people are meant to be poor, don’t pretend that they’re not representing “true” Christianity – they are.

And finally, I’m going to point something out that really pisses people off; Jesus was a prick. Yes, I know, we’re all supposed to pretend that he was lovely, but he fucking wasn’t! He was a delusional maniac with a Messianic-level superiority complex who said that if we don’t believe in him we’re going to hell – if he even existed.

It's a shame there's no hell for this poor kid's parents to go to.

It’s a shame there’s no hell for this poor kid’s parents to go to.

I don’t often quote Christian apologists, but C.S. Lewis addressed this issue; he wrote in Mere Christianity that it makes no sense to say “I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept his claim to be God”, because “a man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice.” Well, I’ve made mine – he was either a lunatic, or a liar, and I’m not too fussed about which.

Religion is a tool of oppression. There’s a reason religion has always preached hatred of queers and women – it’s the invention of male rulers. It’s used by bosses to keep us down – the feudal system was based on the Christian idea that we’re all put in our place by god, peasants are meant to be peasants and kings are meant to be kings. In America in the early 20th century bosses used to send the Sally Army into workplaces to try and stop the trade unions organising – luckily the Wobblies (IWW) came up with new lyrics to sing over their hymns, which gave me plenty of amusement in church.

Religion is, always has been and always will be a method of oppression. When it finally dies out we’ll all be a lot happier, and we can use those huge fuck-off churches for something useful.

Legalise post-natal abortion for anti-choice protestors

Legalise post-natal abortion for anti-choice protestors


One thought on “#NotAllChristians?

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